Billy had heard all of this before,       Billy had heard all of this before, 

"It didn't mean anything!  HE          "It didn't mean anything!  HE

doesn't mean anything to me!  It    doesn't mean anything to me!  It

was just a stupid little kiss!"          was just a stupid little kiss!

    He had heard all of this before,        He had heard all of this before,

of course.  "Sure," he said, "Just     of course.  "Sure," he said, "Just

like it was when I found out           like it was when I found out

about Walter?"  He paused.            about Walter?"  He paused.

    He was tired.  Tired of thinking         He was tired.  Tired of thinking

he knew what love was.  Tired        he knew what love was.  Tired

of forgiving, tired of regretting.       of forgiving, tired of regretting.

Every day was just another day      Every day was just another day

that left him wondering why he       that left him wondering why he

needed to live the next.                 needed to live the next.

    He was angry.  Angry that              He was sad.  Sad that he was

after all of the years that they       not man enough to stand up for

had been together, she could so     this life that he had worked hard

easily discard his heart, his love,     to build.  Sad that he wasn't enough

his willing soul.  Angry that she       of a man to keep the woman of his

could cheat on him.                      dreams from wandering.

    He looked across the room at         He looked across the room at

her.  Speechless.  There was         at her.  Speechless.  There was

nothing left to say.  Nothing he      nothing left to say.  Nothing he 

wanted to say.                            wanted to say.

    Quietly, he walked into the            Quietly, he walked into the

bedroom and opened the drawer     bedroom and opened the drawer

of the nightstand beside the bed.    of the nightstand beside the bed.

He lifted the gun from the drawer    He lifted the gun from the drawer

and stared at it - thinking about     and stared at it - thinking about

the last few years.  Remembering    the last few years.  Remembering

the joy and the agony.                  the joy and the agony.

    There was definitely more              There was definitely more

agony than joy.  He walked into      agony than joy.  He walked into

the living room when Connie still      the living room when Connie still

stood - still wearing her patented    stood - still wearing her patented

"look of innocence".                       "look of innocence".

     He raised the gun, looked at           He raised the gun, looked at

her and said, "I'm sorry", then         her and said, "I'm sorry", then

pulled the trigger and collapsed       pulled the trigger and watched as

to the floor.                                 Connie collapsed to the floor. 

     Linda walked into the house and followed the melody into the back bedroom.  Jarrod was always in the back room playing his guitar and you could hear it in the quality of his music.  She could sit for hours in the living room and listen to him play.  He was sitting, as usual, in the corner next to the window; better acoustics he would say.  He would sit quietly playing his guitar and stare out the window.

     "Hey there."

     Moments passed before Jarrod looked up from his guitar, "Hey."

     "Hmm...  You've got that look again."

     "Which one?"

     "That one that says that your mind has left the building, but your body is still here."

     "Oh, yeah, I guess I did, didn't I"

     "Yeah", Linda paused for a moment as she looked at Jarrod sitting on the floor with his guitar laid across his lap, "What happens to you when you're playing your guitar?  I mean, where do you go?"

     Jarrod smiled, "I don't know."

     "Okay, let me rephrase that question because I'm not quite sure I said what I meant to say.  What happens to you when you're playing your guitar?  I mean, where do you go?"

     "What I meant is that I don't know how to explain it.  Remember when John was telling us what an acid trip feels like?  How it closes all of the windows and doors in our minds and leaves us alone with ourselves?  Well, that's with the exception of those moments of utter stupidity when an acid head would attempt to communicate with the rest of the planet?"

     "Yeah, I remember."

     "Well, it's nothing like that."

     "JERK!!"

     Jarrod smiled again, "Fade.  That's what happens.  I fade.  When I'm playing my guitar, I feel like I'm slowly moving into it; becoming the guitar, the music.  Sometimes I feel like I can play myself away if I just get the right melody - the right song."

     "You mean like day dreaming."

     "No, it's more than that.  I don't lose myself, really; at least it doesn't feel that way.  I lose the world, or better yet, I become the world.  I become a part of a huge thing, rather than just another person on 'this' world.  I become a living, breathing part of the world.  I join in with the universe, I can feel it breathing; it's like my soul is merging."

     "Now you sound crazy."

     "And that dear Linda, is why I never answer that question."

     "Okay, fine.  Well crazy one, play on; I'm going to go cook supper.  I'll call you when it's ready."

     "Cool."

     Linda departed that room as Jarrod started playing.  This time the tune was much like the tune she heard when she entered the apartment, but sweeter, much sweeter.

     "There's a thought", she said to the air as she stirred the sauce on the stove, "How can a song sound sweeter?"

     After setting the table, Linda headed to the back room to get Jarrod.  Unconsciously, she hummed the tune that he was playing.  The same sweet song that he was playing while she cooked.  He was just getting to her favorite part when she entered the room.

     She looked at the guitar sitting in the corner still quietly playing, "Jarrod?"

     "Jarrod?"

     The waves crashed hard against the rocks and hurled themselves at Fahzia and Nathan as they sat looking out across the ocean.  Turning his attention to the beach, Fahzia looked at the new guy walking down the waterline, his eyes intent on the sand, looking for seashells.
     He turned his attention back to Nathan, “Have you told him yet?”
     Nathan didn’t turn his gaze from the endless ocean as he answered, “No, I decided that I’m not going to.”
     “But what about that ‘everyone has a right to know’ campaign or yours?  No secrets, no lies.”
     Nathan looked down at the rock he sat upon and shook his head slowly, “I decided that it wasn’t right.  I was being selfish.  I think I just wanted to be the smart guy, I guess.  It’s not fair to him; to them.”
     “So, what are you going to do?”
     Nathan stood up and turned towards the man on the beach, “I’m going to go and walk down the beach with him.”
     Nathan caught up with the new man in moments; everything happens in moments here.  He looked at the new man and noticed the tell tale marks were already appearing.  Ignoring his concern he jumped straight into conversation; always the same first conversation with the new people.
     “So, how did you die?
     James looked over and noticed Nathan for the first time, “I’m sorry?”
     “How did you die?”
     James smiled, “Oh, that.  Heart attack.  Funny, it wasn’t what I expected.  It was easy.”
     Nathan smiled knowingly, “Yeah, nothing is really as it seems is it?  I had cancer; they called it terminal.  The next thing I know, I’m here.  This place has a way of changing the meaning of terminal.”
     James looked around in wonder, “This place.  Wow, what a place.  I can’t believe it.  I can’t believe I’m here.  This is just what I dreamed of; prayed for”, he sighed, “and I’m finally here.”
     Nathan pointed to the hill past the rocks that he had been sitting on, “I was buried just over the ridge there.  I’ve been here…  Well, I’m not sure how long I’ve been here.  What year was it that you left earth?”
     “2007”
     Nathan shook his head in wonder, “Just over two hundred years.  I’ve been enjoying this place for over two hundred years.  It seems such a short time.”
     James looked out over the ocean, taking a deep breath and tasting the salt in the air, “I was cremated.  I didn’t feel right about the burying thing.  I don’t know why.  I wanted to be cremated and tossed into the ocean; to share the earth.  Here I am.”
     Nathan smiled and looked at James, now steadily fading into nothingness, “It is a grand place, this.” 

     He bent down to pick up one of the seashells that James was looking for, “Look, here is another of those shells that you like so much.”
     By the time he turned to hand the shell to James, the man was gone.

 Fahzia and Nathan sat under the palm sipping sweet nectar from cups fashioned from cocoanut shells.
     “He is gone?”
     Nathan looked at Fahzia, unsure about how he felt about the experience and nodded.
     Knowing that his mind was filled with conflict, Fahzia assured him, “This feeling you have, the sadness, it will pass.”

     Nathan shook his head sadly, “I feel I should have told him.  I should have warned him.”
     Fahzia looked at Nathan and asked, “You would tell him what?  That his time here would be short?  That this would soon end, and he would pass from here?  To where would you tell him he would go? To a place that is better?  To a place that is worse?  Nathan, this is a thing that we ourselves do not know.  Would you have him spend his short time here in this beautiful place in a constant state of worry?  Anxiety?  You did what you must, you let nature take its course.”

     Nathan sipped his drink and wondered, “Fahzia, I wonder how long I will be here?”
     Fahzia laughed, “Worry not young friend, you know the rule:  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.  When we are dust, we are done.  You are buried well, you shall last a good while longer.”
     Nathan laughed, paused and turned to Fahzia, “Fahzia.”
     “Yes my friend?”
     “You area great one to talk of time, anxiety, and constant state of worry.  You were mummified.”
     “Yes, I was mummified.  I shall last quite a long time here in my favorite spot.”