I date this girl for two years, and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name!' Mike Binder

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. Henny Youngman 

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner

Marriage: The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. Abraham Lincoln

Love - A temporary insanity curable by marriage.  Ambrose Bierce

The way to fight your wife is with your hat - Grab it and run .Anon

No man was ever shot by his wife while doing the dishes.  Anon