The following people are partly to blame:

Miss P

BackGround

The Flux Liner

Perlesvaus

Tasha/Sil3nce

The Troll (tried in his continuing absence, 'in absentia acoustica')

They were jointly charged on two counts of 'aiding and abetting the release of material likely to confuse or infuriate the general public' in relation to 'Bamboo and Rain' and 'The Spider Nebula', produced by those complete unknowns, Spider and Dick Le Burgh (tea and technical problems).

The Trial transcript reads, in part:

'Your hounour, that these people did wilfully, indeed at times gleefully, by various acts of encouragement and, however difficult now to believe, even of this motley band - if indeed band, as a musical term should correctly be used in this case, which I doubt - did actually praise the defendants in their unswerving endeavours at misguided sonic meanderings of the most elephantine sort...

'Did you say 'elephantine'?'

'Indeed, your honour, elephony of the first order...'

'Then, there is no case to be answered for here! Elephonics may be perceived by many in our society to be, shall we say, a little on the eccentric side, but , now, eccentricity is hardly a cause for legal proceedings. Case dismissed. and could I have the website address again?'

So, without further impediment (or any other architectural feature), Sir Max Cliff-Hanger, publicist to the Tsars, is reasonably content to present to you, the listener (let's not get too ambitious!), a journey that our intrepid duo made so that you might badly go where, as it turned out when they got as far as you can get to, Norman had been before. He had scratched his name on a giant piece of rock, curiously elephant-like in shape, which simply hangs in the emptiness on the edge of things.

'You know', said Dick Le Burgh, when they were safely back in the comfort of their new pad somewhere in the village of Brockdish, 'I can't help thinking that, despite the immensity of our quest, we never quite grasped the real meaning of it all'.

'Of course!', replied Spider, in such a state of excitement that he nearly spilt his tea, 'You're right, but now it all becomes clear...Norman was the elephant's name!'

'Wow!', said Dick, the warm glow of enlightenment spreading downwards from his head throughout his body...

'OW!' he cried, as he realised that Spider had, in his moment of universal realisation, poured his tea over him.

If you're still here...

Welcome...to the spider nebula!